Events

The Buddha did not drive his car at 7:45am He never faced the corporate hierarchy No student loans weighed on his shoulders He walked away from his marriage The Buddha had the freedom to choose, to explore He taught us to accept the inevitability of change He told us that letting go = serenity And this path lies between asceticism and opulence Well, I try to walk the Middle Way I try to accept that change happens But I slip a little in rush hour traffic A little more working in my cubicle A little more...

Waiting at a restaurant bar To meet my wife for dinner And this woman walks in Can’t help staring at her I mean, this girl is hot Rounded and tight, wicked curves When she turns, I hold my breath My god, she has incredible curves She’s a little short, but whatever A body like that, who cares about height? She’d be tall enough in my bed On her back or on all fours It’s all good, all she’s got Hair pulled back in a ponytail Skin-tight T-shirt, cut low and high Bright orange short shorts, and tight Ah...

—Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green Grass of Home." —That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome. —Is it Common? —It's not unusual! Submitted by reader M.G.

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do something that...

It seems there was an Irishman wanting to buy himself a horse. So he went to the open market, which is a place in Ireland where people sell things, among which are...horses. Well, he saw one that he liked and asked the price. Paddy, who was selling the horse said to him, "Well, now, I'll be sellin' you this horse but I feel there's something I need to tell you first." Well, the man wanted to know what that was. Paddy said, "Well, it seems he has a strange habit of wantin' to sit on bananas." Now, the...

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't,"...

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry. Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room. He returned a few moments later with...

Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill...

Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration throughout the land that he was searching for one. A year passed, and only 3 people showed up: A Japanese Samurai. A Chinese Samurai. A Jewish Samurai. The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh went his sword, and the bumblebee...

My job involves driving a van around neighborhoods looking for customers. You see, most people are too embarrassed to call for help, even when the problem gets so bad that they have trouble living in their house. So I cruise around areas, looking for certain signs that might indicate a problem, sometimes calling into the dispatcher in case someone has the courage to admit they need help. It's a decent job, somewhat humbling for me with all my degrees and experience. Still, it pays well and the work...