The Daily Parker

On Sunday the Spectralia Theater Company had me shoot their publicity stills for this summer's Comedy of Errors production. The play goes up this summer at several Chicago Park District parks as part of the Bard in the Parks program.

Doctor Pinch (Don Johnson) and Antipholous of Ephesus (Peter Ash):

The Courtezan of Ephesus (Mary-Kate Arnold):

The play opens June 29th at Ravenswood Manor Park in Chicago.

On the heels of the BBC's announcement that Matt Smith will leave Doctor Who after this year's Christmas Special, some outlets have reported that Helen Mirren may play the 12th (13th?) Doctor. The rumors are almost certainly false, but it's fun to imagine.

Others have imagined female Doctors, including two blokes back in February who wondered, what if they were all women?

10th Doctor-Sue Perkins

Fans still reeling from the 9th Doctor’s surprise exit were more than a little surprised to see Sue Perkins step into the role. In stark contrast to Suranne Jones’ mercurial, often grim take on the role, Perkins brought a lightness of touch and cheerful eccentricity that hadn’t been seen since the Grenfell years. Complete with brainyspecs, a new found joy in her work and remarkable chemistry with Rose, the 10th Doctor was a massive hit. The burgeoning romance between Rose and the Doctor, heartbreakingly cut short in ‘Doomsday’ and revived in ‘Journey’s End’, was praised by fans and critics alike, as Perkins became the first openly gay Doctor in the show’s history. Her final episodes, featuring the return of Sheridan Smith as the demented Mistress (Having regenerated from an award-winning cameo by Dame Judi Dench as Professor Yana), remain two of the highest rated episodes in the show’s history.

The 50th Anniversary Special will air November 23rd; the Christmas Special, December 25th.

Yesterday I had a fun but abbreviated time at Jarvis Beach doing publicity stills for Spectralia Theater's Comedy of Errors. The play goes up this summer at several Chicago Park District parks as part of the Bard in the Parks program.

I've just finished the first batch of shots, so I haven't got clearance from the production to publish any yet. I can, however, post a shot of the least helpful photo assistant on the planet, here lying down next to Spectralia member Don Johnson:

BBC America launched the Canadian sci-fi series Orphan Black in March, and I got immediately hooked. Last night both the show and the Beeb gave me mild disappointments, neither one entirely unexpected.

First, the big disappointment: Doctor Who star Matt Smith announced he's leaving the series after this year's Christmas Special. Four years as the 11th (12th?) Doctor is a lot when you're a talented 27-year-old actor. His departure was inevitable, of course, but he'll be missed.

Now Orphan Black. The first nine episodes built up Sarah Manning's world as she discovered she was one of at least eight clones (all of them played by brilliant Canadian Tatiana Maslany), possibly more, somehow connected to the mysterious Dr. Aldous Leekie (Matt Frewer).

The series has entertained me every week, with consistently solid writing and directing, and even taking Maslany off the league table for a fair comparison, above-average acting. Then last night happened. I still really like the show, don't misunderstand. But series creators Graeme Manson and John Fawcett had too much to do in 46 minutes, which, while predictable, was still a little disppointing.

Before I go into details (with spoilers), it's important to point out that stuffing a full season into 10 episodes, and needing to set up the next season, is challenging for any writer. Sometimes writers take shortcuts. Sometimes they have bad days. Manson did his best, but a couple of things didn't work for me at all, and took me out of the story.

Cosima and Delphine discovering the hidden message

Near the end of the episode, Delphine and clone Cosima realize that the DNA watermarks hidden in each of the clones's genomes may contain real information. Now, I understand that most people haven't a clue about DNA, or how it works, requiring some Basil Exposition action; but these two characters have Ph.D.-level biology skills.

Cosima and Delphine would know that DNA has only four possible base pairs the way a software developer would know that 1 and 1 is 1. In a synthetic DNA sequence, that gives you either two or four possible values for each base pair, depending on whether you care about which side of the strand a nucleotide is on. (If you care, you can get 2 bits out of each base pair. Trust me.)

This means you can use DNA to store binary data. This is treated as a revelation. But it's obvious. Not only is it obvious, it's been done.

So what annoyed me? The scene's emphasis. It's not shocking that the clones have watermarks; it's shocking that someone was able to do this to their DNA in 1983.

The clones' reactions to the hidden message

The same scene concludes with Cosima and Delphine discovering that the synthetic DNA sequence encodes a text snippet implying that the clones are patented. From this Cosima concludes that they're property, which motivates Sarah and Paul to bolt from their meeting with Rachel Duncan.

Two things bothered me: first, as a matter of law, people can't be property. The UK abolished slavery in 1833, the U.S. in 1865, and Canada never allowed it as an independent nation. So even if the clones' DNA could be patented, that would not make them "property" in any way.

Also, even if the clones' DNA could be patented, they're all 28 or 29 years old. Patents taken out before 1989 in Canada have 17-year lifespans; in the UK it's 20 years. So the clones' DNA would be in the public domain at this point, regardless.

But human beings can't be patented; only processes based on human DNA can be patented. The question of whether fragments of human DNA can be patented is currently before the U.S. Supreme Court with a decision expected this month.

Notwithstanding everything I've just written, in order to get a patent, you have to file a public patent application. So, it's 1983, and you're about to implant at least eight clone embryos into unsuspecting surrogate mothers, some of whom will go on to believe that the resulting children are their own biological offspring. And you want to file a written patent application with the USPTO?

My conclusion from all this is that the clones were so worked up by this point—Sarah has to be on her last nerve, and well along the road to serious PTSD—that none of them stopped to think, "how the hell does the evil corporation intend to enforce this patent?" The corporation doesn't intend to enforce the patent; they intend to continue their illegal and unethical research, which requires the clones' cooperation. The fewer idiots in this plot, the better the chances that everyone gets what he or she wants.

Which leads me to:

Why did Paul and Sarah bolt the interview?

Again, I have to accept that Sarah is so far out of her depth and so stressed out that she would have trouble counting to 20 in one try, let alone working out the best way to gain tactical advantage over Leekie. Remember, she's just lost her birth mother and killed her "twin" sister. After being attacked by said twin. Probably with a nasty concussion, a cracked rib or two, and other injuries. Still, Paul knows who's in the room they're heading to, because he was just in it. He's armed, and so is Sarah. What does he suppose the two lawyers will do to them once Sarah signs the agreement? (An agreement which, because it's predicated on an illegal premise, is completely unenforceable.)

The last minute of the season, then, became an idiot plot, leaving only one question: who would abduct Sarah's daughter? I wouldn't suspect Leekie, if he's not an idiot. He's going to need Sarah's cooperation if he hopes to derive any useful information from Kira.

Predictions for Season Two

All right, Manson and Fawcett got a little hurried in the last few pages of the script. But now I think it's possible to see the larger pattern. Here are my guesses:

• Sarah and the other clones were created to be super-soldiers. All of them have displayed above-average intelligence, adaptability, and some degree of sociopathy. They're also physically stronger than they look, and seem to heal a lot faster than normal people. Kira, certainly, has some strange characteristics. And with the military already aware of them—where did Paul come from, after all?—there's a clear path through that garden.
• Mrs. S. escaped with Kira when Leekie's people tried to take them.
• Detective Deangelis is working for Leekie. Art, though, is pretty much who he appears to be, and will make good on his promise to protect Sarah.
• It's a long time until next spring. But I'm looking forward to Season 2.

I like Orphan Black. The season finale got me thinking and speculating about what will happen next—a sign of a good story. So, naturally, I've pre-ordered the Blu-Ray, so I can see what I missed during the first pass.

After a two-and-a-half hour rain delay, last night's Cubs game ticked along with the Cubs ahead 3-1 until the last time I checked the score before going to bed.

This morning I woke up to a 12-4 Cubs loss. Why? Marmol, again:

After escaping two bases-loaded jams early, the Cubs were unable to do so when they needed it most, as D-backs first baseman Paul Goldschmidt launched a tie-breaking grand slam off Carlos Marmol (2-3) in the eighth inning to make it 8-4.

"He's a good hitter," Marmol said. "I left one up there and he took advantage."

Marmol walked Willie Bloomquist and Didi Gregorius and allowed a double to Gerardo Parra before Goldschmidt's slam.

I'm going to the game today. The only good thing about Marmol's loss yesterday is that he won't pitch today's game.

Sometimes, the Illinois General Assembly reminds us that Molly Ivins had it right: the only state legislature worse at their jobs than Illinois' is Texas'.

Yesterday, the only legislature we have adjourned for the summer, after passing the least popular bill on its agenda this year and failing to pass one of the most popular:

Illinois had appeared poised to become the 13th state to approve same-sex marriage. Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn promised to sign the bill. Democrats held veto-proof majorities in the House and Senate. President Barack Obama called for its passage during a Thursday night fundraiser in his home city, and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel was a major backer as well.

Under the bill, the definition of marriage in Illinois would have changed from an act between a man and a woman to one between two people. Civil unions could have been converted to marriages within a year of the law going on the books. The legislation would not have required religious organizations to perform a marriage of gay couples, and church officials would not have been forced to allow their facilities to be used by gay couples seeking to marry.

But as the hours wore on, the optimism and energy dissolved in the face of strong opposition from Catholic and conservative African-American church groups, leading [Rep. Greg] Harris [D-Chicago] to rise on the floor and tearfully announce that he would not call the bill — there wasn't enough support after all.

Thank you, churches, for confusing conservatism and Christianism once again. And thank you, Illinois House, for cowering behind procedure in the face of criticism from a small minority of constituents. Failing to take a vote means we actually don't know which of our representatives would have chosen to side with history and which ones with the past. Well-played, troglodytes, well-played.

Oh, and the legislature also failed to pass pension reform, about which the bond markets will probably have something to say on Monday.

Good thing it's now legal to carry concealed guns in Illinois. Because nothing keeps your kids safe (from gay germs, one must assume) like a .380 in your purse.

The Cubs have won the last five complete games, and were ahead when Tuesday got rained out. They swept the White Sox, and just today beat the Diamondbacks 7-2. In fact, in their last six games, the Cubs have gotten 36 runs to their opponents' 12.

Here's how the season looks at the end of May:

The orange line tracks their position in the division. With their 23-30 record, the Cubs are now 3.5 games ahead of the last-place Brewers (19-33), but fully 9.5 games behind the third-place Reds (33-21).

There's really no hope of a pennant this season, but it's great to see them finally winning some games.

The city began an experiment at the corner of State and Jackson this morning, turning the intersection into a pedestrian zone during stoplight changes similar to Oxford Circus in London. The Tribune's Jon Hilkevitch has details:

The test involves stopping all vehicles — heading east on Jackson and north and south on State — for 35 seconds every third traffic light cycle to let pedestrians cross in all directions, including diagonally.

The test got underway at 10:17 a.m., and some pedestrians cheered and hooted in celebration as they crossed at State and Jackson. Still, there was some skepticism of how the experiment will go, at least at first.

The experiment will last several months and, based on results, could become permanent at that location.

Chicago Transportation Commissioner Gabe Klein said today that traffic at the intersection "will flow better, not worse. We think we can make all modes [of transportation] safer."

The evidence from around the world shows that these kinds of intersections make traffic flow more smoothly, because cars aren't waiting for pedestrians as much, while making it safer for pedestrians to cross. I've seen them in London and Tokyo, and in my experience they work fine. I hope Chicago keeps this one, and creates a few others at high-volume intersections.

Oh, my, some doozies today:

• Via Calculated Risk, Fermanagh, Ireland, has put up a Potemkin village to reassure all the G8 leaders that everything is fine. This includes, for example, putting photos of a thriving butcher shop over the boarded-up windows of a former butcher shop. It's a laugh-and-cry moment.
• The New York Times Magazine published a story about a near-crash on a commercial airliner that...doesn't make sense. Aside from reading like an undergraduate creative-writing assignment, it's simply not plausible that it happened as described. James Fallows dissects it.
• New Republic's Isaac Chotner puts Chris Kyle in context.
• Chicago Public Radio examines why all our outdoor cafes are on the North Side.

More as events warrant.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) won't be running next fall:

Mrs. Bachmann, defiant as ever as she insisted that she would have won re-election had she tried, also said the legal inquiries had nothing to do with her decision. She vowed to continue to fight for the principles she said she holds dear — religious liberty, traditional marriage, family values and protecting innocent life, she said.

“I fully anticipate the mainstream liberal media to put a detrimental spin on my decision not to seek a fifth term,” she said in a gauzy network-television-quality video posted on her campaign Web site. “They always seemed to attempt to find a dishonest way to disparage me. But I take being the focus of their attention and disparagement as a true compliment of my public service effectiveness.”

Yes, of course, because that's what the media do: they report facts that paint Michele Bachmann in a negative light. Or, as Krugman often says, "facts have a well-known liberal bias."

How about one of her House colleagues, then?

“Michele Bachmann is not retiring because she thinks her Tea Party views are out of touch. She’s retiring because she’s under investigation,” said Representative Steve Israel of New York, who heads the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “What really concerns me now is the competition that will emerge in the House G.O.P. to fill her shoes. That competition is going to pull House Republicans even further to the right of where they are now.”

Yeah, I'm not sure how much farther right than Bachmann the Minnesota GOP can go. Her special brand of bat-shit-crazy simply defies the abilities of mere mortal politicians to recreate.

Bachmann will no doubt land on her feet, thanks to the right-wing sound machine that has gotten Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich lucrative speaking careers. I'm going to miss seeing Bachmann's smiling face on the Daily Show, though.

Update: The Onion has the truthy story:

Saying that it’s the Lord’s will, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced on her website Wednesday that she has decided not to seek reelection in 2014 because God wants her to earn millions of dollars working for a high-powered lobbying firm.

It sounds like it might be a true story, doesn't it?