One day an Englishman, an American, and a Scotsman walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as
they were about to enjoy their beverage, a fly landed in each of their
pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Scotsman picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over
the pint, yelling, "SPI' I' OOT, SPI' I' OOT YE BASTARD!!!"
Submitted by reader C.K.
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie (i.e., a Newfoundlander). He went to a
neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would
make me into a Newfie?"
"Sure, it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out
1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."
The Ontarian was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the surgeon's knife
slipped, and instead of cutting out 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon
accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly
remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient
recovered from the anesthetic.
As soon as the patient was conscious, the
nurosurgeon said to him, "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly
accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of
your brain."
The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"
Submitted by reader C.K.